Adam Williams is a recognized dating and relationship expert. Working in the field of online dating and having a degree in Psychology, Adam was always interested in helping people with their relationships. He loves seeing happy couples and felling that he was the one to help them build their happiness. Adam is always happy to share his experience and running a blog on our website.
First Date Sex and Why You Should Not Deny This Idea
People have an innate desire to get close to romantic partners as quickly as possible. However, single people often face the internal struggle about whether they should have sex with someone they just met or not. People used to believe that sex on the first date was a bad thing, but now it is being viewed differently. Here, we are going to break down this taboo to show you why the attitudes around this act have changed.
If someone were to tell you to name something you would not want to happen on a first date, the truth is that most people would not put sex on that list. First-date sex is a contentious topic that people have talked about for a long time, with some insisting that it’s perfectly normal and others saying it violates the social code. Yet, it is important to dig into the foundation of that taboo to discover why people feel like they should avoid sex on the first date. From what we have discovered, there are good reasons not to have sex on the first date, such as health and safety, but the social implications are less significant. If we all admit that we’re human and have a sexual appetite and healthy desires, why should we feel the need to avoid sex when both people clearly want it? The only reasonable conclusion to draw from this situation is that nobody should dismiss the idea of having sex on the first date out of hand. That doesn’t automatically mean that the expectation for sex on the first date should exist, either. As you can see, this is a complicated topic that is made more complex by factors such as religion, personal health, chemistry, and public perception among one’s friends and loved ones. If you are willing to keep an open mind about this idea, though, you could discover a better way to test your compatibility.
Public Perception and Three Dates Rule
How many dates till sex? If you ask most people, they will tell you that the hard and fast rule on this subject is that you have to count three dates until sex happens. Having 3rd date sex is seen as the standard by many people, but the reasoning behind that is still somewhat murky. It’s possible that people don’t want to set the first date expectations too high or that they need more than two dates to prepare to be with someone in such an intimate way. After all, you could have one “okay” date and one “good” date, and that might not warrant having sex with someone.
What do the first date statistics say about this? According to one study that asked 39,000 people, only 28% of men and 7% of women admitted that they would have no problem sleeping with someone on the first date. Many women are still looking to fall in love with someone before getting in bed with them, but practically nobody is willing to wait for marriage for their first time. That shows that people are becoming much more willing to sleep with people sooner than previous generations. If almost 1 in 10 women want first date sex and 1 in 4 men want first date sex, then it’s clear that public perception is changing.
Define Your Personal Concerns Regarding First Date Sex
The personal concerns that people have about having first-date sex are often informed by their past experiences in life. For example, a person that indulged on the first date and now asks, “why don’t guys call after you sleep with them?” is not likely to partake again because they feel tricked. Still, that goes back to the idea that everyone has the right to decide for themselves. There is no right answer to the question, when should I have sex? You have to outline your concerns as an individual and seek out ways to quell those worries, even if it means waiting. That way, when you consider what happens after the first time you have sex with a romantic partner, you feel proud and satisfied.
Now, some people have spread myths about what is acceptable on the first date. For example, it’s often said that people should be more inclined to have first-date oral sex. That’s not necessarily true. The same goes for the idea that if someone bought you a nice gift or took you out to dinner that you “owe them.” Two problematic elements inform these notions. The first is that there is a set time for when you need to have sex with someone. There is no timeline for sex; it’s all based on your comfort. You might want to have sex sooner than other people, and that is perfectly fine and normal as long as you are both willing. The second part is that some people feel the need to justify their choices by saying their date bought them gifts or dinner. That makes the whole situation seem transaction, and it’s not. If you want to have sex with someone, own up to it so that it does not reflect poorly on your partner. Remember to define your personal concerns, see what you’re comfortable doing, and have fun doing it. Don’t let anyone tell you what you’re doing is inherently wrong based on their experiences and notions about society.
Consider the Pros of This Idea
Once you learn how to create chemistry on a first date, you might start thinking, “we should have sex.” Is that the right choice, though? We’re going to take a look at some of the positive results you might get when you have sex on the first date with the right partner. Consider each of these, and you will see why people are so excited to meet up and have sex.
Instant Chemistry Proves a Good Match
When you are out on a date with someone, you might find out that you want to have sex right now. The connection can be so intense that it feels like you have known each other for a long time, and both yearn for the same thing. Why should you deny yourself a date and sex if your instant chemistry proves that you are a good match? That is an immediate benefit of getting it the first time you meet.
Possibility of Great Casual Relationships
Casual hookups are great for people that want to meet up and have sex without developing a connection. As we’ve said, sex is a biological desire for most people. You should not feel ashamed for having sex and wanting it with people that are hot.
You Will Have Sex
Of course, one of the most significant benefits is that you get to have sex. Having physical fun is something that will feel great and leave you to refresh, perhaps learning something new about yourself.
Bold decisions Are Fun
Last but not least, having sex on the first date is going to give you a sense of satisfaction for being bold. How should you feel after a first date and sleeping together? For the most part, you’ll feel highly satisfied by your experiences.
Now that you know the pros of first-date sex, you should consider the other side of the coin.
Remember About Protection and Other Precautions
If you do decide to have a first-date hookup, there are some potential downsides that you must consider. Take these three ideas into consideration before you ask yourself, should I have sex with her? You’ll thank yourself for being mentally prepared for these situations.
Make Your Intentions Clear Before Hopping into Bed
Before you start sleeping on the first date, you have to make sure you make your intentions with your partner perfectly clear. That means a few things. First, get consent from your partner to say that they are completely willing to be with you. Moreover, you have to tell them that you want to have sex with them and then consider the meaning of your relationship. It might be that you both want a hookup, or you both might feel a special connection that you want to explore in the bedroom. You don’t want to reminisce and say, “I almost had sex,” because you were not mentally prepared with your intentions.
Say ‘No’ to Unprotected Sex
You just met someone, and things are hotter than you can imagine. That does not mean it is a good idea for you to throw caution to the wind and not use some kind of protection. You just met, and you might have a wild and passionate night of sex ahead of you, but you have to stay safe. We are not going to shame STIs and people who carry them, but you must think about the long-term implications. You don’t want to get a disease like HIV for a one-night stand. You also must consider pregnancy possibilities if you have sex. A baby is easy to make and hard to take care of. Furthermore, you can’t rely solely on condoms to prevent pregnancy or a morning-after pill to save you from the risk of pregnancy. The bottom line is that you must be sure to say no to unprotected sex, or you could be in for a lifetime of consequences.
First Sex Is Not Always Great
You should remember that you and your partner barely know each other on a deep enough level to truly please each other. Typically, people that have good sex have been with one another for a long time and know each other’s turn-ons. That being the case, first-time sex is not always that great with someone. Your bodies won’t be in tune with one another, and you might have some difficulty getting into the right position to make things feel good. Don’t worry about it, though. The connection you form could be more important than the pleasure.
Does It Mean No Second Date?
Is sex on the first date a relationship killer? Some people think, “we had sex, now what?” because they already took part in the “big event’ of a relationship. That line of thinking has led people to believe that they have already achieved the zenith of their interaction, and there is nothing else to go for after that. Those people believe that they have to do something special to win over their partner and turn them into a boyfriend or girlfriend.
The truth is that there is no secret on how to turn a hookup into a boyfriend or girlfriend because sex is an independent event, and it’s not something that will kill any relationship that was going to last. If sex were the only thing that relationship can give you, it would not last without something else to keep your attention. You might have sex with someone, and it might not lead anywhere because you didn’t have much in common aside from a mutual physical attraction. That is perfectly fine. Having sex is not going to smother a relationship because it’s only a single event in a long interaction. So, to answer the question: no, having sex is not going to kill your chances of a second date. Especially if you both have a good time in bed! Then you will want even more of what you had the first time.
Having sex on the first date is no longer as taboo as it was before. In fact, it can be the start of a beautiful relationship. It is up to you to decide how you feel about the situation and to act accordingly. You can wait for three dates or get down to business the first time you meet before dinner. Only you can determine what sex means to you in the context of a relationship.